There is only one thing that matters in life – love. Above and beyond every other thing – love conquers all. The love of God is the most precious thing that we can ever obtain, give, or understand. Love covers a multitude of sin. It breaks through every barrier. It makes sense when nothing else does.
What is love really? What is the love of God? Does love require us to be doormats? Does it require us to go along with others even when we see things differently? Does it require us to stay in situations that are unhealthy – for the sake of love? Does it require us to cower?
Knowing that Jesus was love, is love, and always will be LOVE – I look to him for the answers. While he was here walking the earth, Jesus was the epitome of all the gifts of the Spirit. He was kindness. He was gentleness. He was love. While reading the Scriptures, filtering it through my own natural flawed understanding, it has seemed to me that there were times when Jesus didn’t exemplify love – not the way I would naively comprehend the expression of love, anyway. Though my natural understanding brings me to this way of thinking, the Spirit of God stirs up my spirit and causes me to understand a deeper aspect of love. There is a deeper understanding that surpasses my naïve ignorant understanding of “nice” love.
In Matthew 15, we read of how the Gentile woman came to Jesus begging for him to heal her daughter who was demon-possessed. This woman was in a desperate situation and I imagine she was very distressed and a pitiful sight. The scriptures say that she was crying and begging. I can see her pulling on Jesus, begging Him not only with her words, but with her tear-stained eyes – her overall countenance reflecting the sorrow, torment, frustration and fatigue of her situation. But he answered her not a word. (verse 23).
What? He didn’t say anything? How could that be? How could Jesus – the Beautiful One – the Healer – the Deliverer – not say one thing to her? Did he not have compassion on her? Did it not grieve him to see her worn-out state? Did he not care?
Certainly, we know that Jesus cared. Isaiah 53:4 foretold of him: “Surely he hath borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows.” He cared from the moment he saw her. So why did he ignore her? Why did he not readily help her? He ignored her until even his disciples asked him to send her away because she was annoying them by crying after them. I imagine her pleading must have gone on for a considerable space of time, being that the disciples where so tired of her. Why did Jesus ignore her?
The desperate woman continued to beg Jesus for help and mercy and he finally spoke to her, telling her that he had come only for the people of Israel, implying that he would not help her. I’m sure her heart sank as the feelings of unworthiness shrouded over her hopes. I imagine the reality that she was not “one of God’s people,” but that she was an outsider, weighed upon her. She was only a Gentile. In that moment she had the choice to react or respond. She could have reacted with anger, insecurity, bitterness, rage, cowardice, wrath… or she could choose to respond with humility, worship, confidence, hope, and ultimately, faith. I believe that in that moment she saw directly into Jesus’ face. She looked into his eyes. She saw his Glory. She saw the Healer. She knew he was the one who came to bear all our burdens and take away all our infirmities. She chose in that moment to look beyond his human frown and look into his divine smile… and she worshipped him.
In verse 25, we read: “But she came and worshiped him….”
This was it! Jesus, in all appearances, had been cold and aloof with her. He had ignored her. He had seemingly rejected her. However, in his great love for her, he had drawn her in closer to himself. He did not want to make her feel unworthy, as some commentaries on this passage will explain. No. He wanted her to realize that she was beyond begging – that she could come to him confidently – that beyond all the rejection, all the excuses and reasons why she should not be blessed – that he saw her, he cared; and that more importantly, His love was greater than she had ever imagined. He loved her enough to spur her on to faith.
As her faith was rising, Jesus provoked her to step in a little further – to trust him a little more. As we will see by his next comment he even pushes her to declare this new understanding and faith that was rising up. He said to her as she begged for his mercy again, “It isn’t right to take food from the children and throw it to the dogs.” To the dogs? She had already looked into his loving glory. She had beheld her reflection in his eyes. She had just been embraced by his love – so she then boldly said, “That’s true, Lord, but even dogs are allowed to eat the scraps that fall beneath their masters’ table.” At this point, I believe she said this with a posture of confidence as the way one would speak winsomely yet humbly to a trusted friend. She had said it! She proclaimed that she was worth something – that she and her daughter, her people, were worthy to receive the blessings of God. She had proclaimed that she understood how great was his love for her. This love – the love of Christ – was bigger than the boundaries. It was stronger than the fear and pity. It was kinder than mere politeness. It was bold enough to provoke her to a deeper place. It was real. She got it.
I can imagine a huge loving smile shining across Jesus’ face as he immediately said to her, “Dear woman, your faith is great. Your request is granted.” Her daughter was healed instantly.
Though faith for her daughter’s healing was the Gentile woman’s focus, I believe Jesus’ focus was to get her to understand his great love for her – that she would walk away that day knowing that she was not “less-than,” or rejected or unworthy, but that he thought of her as worthy, strong and full of faith. Healing her daughter was no big deal for Jesus. Nowhere else do we see that he required that the ones being healed meet all these standards and go through this kind of procedure. The entire thing was a divine way for Jesus to show his great love for this woman and to let that love transform her from a pitiful begging weak wretch into a confident, loved, empowered woman. He was showing off his Glory. He was showing it off in her situation. She was changed and he was glorified. The love of Christ was made known to her and I believe she carried that love onward from that day.
Sometimes, love does not look pretty. It can even look harsh. It can be an uncomfortable process getting to the deeper understanding of God’s love and truth. The road to a deep faith is a hard journey with lots of tests, trials, confrontations, and hurt-feelings along the way. As in the story of the Gentile woman, I believe Jesus still works this way today with us. He provokes us to stand up and truly declare not only the nice things of God, but the powerful things. He provokes us to look beyond the face-value of Christianity, which often defines us as the poor wretched beggars, and instead, look into his design and purpose for us – which is that we would be transformed into carriers of his glory and power. His words are not always nice – but they are always powerful. As C.S. Lewis says of Aslan in Narnia: he is not tame, but he is good.
This one thing I know… He is good.
Scriptures: Matthew 15: 21-28 (New Living Translation)
